Ronery... So Ronery...
Most people associate lonliness with being alone, curled-up-naked-in-the-shower-biting-your-knees, "no one loves me," and sitting in the dark. However, this is not the lonliness that I think is the worst. No, the lonliness that I think is the worst is feeling alone in a crowd of friends.
The kind of lonliness that hits you when you realize that you are the only person in the room who thinks completely on a different level than anyone else. The kind of lonliness that hits you when you look around and realize that all of your friends are either married, engaged, or dating (to some respect). The kind of lonliness that hits you when you begin to wonder if you'll join the happy couples in the room, or be doomed to be alone the rest of your life.
Yeah. I'm the guy who can go to a party and feel completely isolated even though there's 30 people around me. It's not that I'm socially challenged. On the contrary, I'm one of the most social people I know and if I don't have people around me, I get very very depressed. The problem lies in the fact that I tend to think very quickly and therefore tend to overthing things. So someone will make a comment about dating someone, and my mind will make this connection:
Aww that's so cute.
I want someone to be cute with.
What will we look like?
I wonder when I'll meet her?
Will I ever meet her?
I'm so lonely and I really can't express this to anyone right now because they're so happy together.
And all of this will take place in the matter of one second. And then repeat itself over and over again in my brain, driving me slowly mad, wondering if I will ever find someone who will understand and complement me.
So yeah. That's the worst kind of lonliness.
The kind of lonliness that hits you when you realize that you are the only person in the room who thinks completely on a different level than anyone else. The kind of lonliness that hits you when you look around and realize that all of your friends are either married, engaged, or dating (to some respect). The kind of lonliness that hits you when you begin to wonder if you'll join the happy couples in the room, or be doomed to be alone the rest of your life.
Yeah. I'm the guy who can go to a party and feel completely isolated even though there's 30 people around me. It's not that I'm socially challenged. On the contrary, I'm one of the most social people I know and if I don't have people around me, I get very very depressed. The problem lies in the fact that I tend to think very quickly and therefore tend to overthing things. So someone will make a comment about dating someone, and my mind will make this connection:
Aww that's so cute.
I want someone to be cute with.
What will we look like?
I wonder when I'll meet her?
Will I ever meet her?
I'm so lonely and I really can't express this to anyone right now because they're so happy together.
And all of this will take place in the matter of one second. And then repeat itself over and over again in my brain, driving me slowly mad, wondering if I will ever find someone who will understand and complement me.
So yeah. That's the worst kind of lonliness.
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