Randomness: Part 2

Just a bunch of random thoughts compiled into one blog post. It shall be (hopefully) epic.

- Love is the extremely difficult realization that somethig other than oneself is real. ~ Iris Murdoch

 

- If Moses supposes his toeses are roses, then Moses supposes erroniously.

 

- Why do we become much dumber online? It's not as if people don't recognize you.

 

- To be a man you must be:

      - As swift as a coursing river.

      - Have the force of a great typhoon.

      - Have all the strength of a raging fire.

      - Be as mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

 

- Why are we so freely accepting of creepy realities established in various forms of media? Is it because we know that they will never happen, or is it because we know that if they happen we'll all be so freaked out we'll probably pee our pants?

 

- The rest of these are borrowed from this website: my.opera.com/Mooloolababoy/blog/2006/11/18/profound-sayings-from-a-wise-man

 

- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

- Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

- Half the people you know are below average.

- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name

- 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

- If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

- All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

- I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

- OK, so what's the speed of dark?

- How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy .

- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

- I intend to live forever; so far, so good

- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

- My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

- The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

- Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

 

- If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work

Anyways... most of these are from someone else, but they are pretty freaking hilarious. I know I kinda cheated, but hey, if you find something good from someone else, why not pass it on?