The Top 8 Things You Don't Do At Starbucks - From a Barista's Perspective

     So it's been a while since my last post, but I'm thinking about giving this blog a little kick in the pants to get it back on it's feet. What say you? Yes? Ok good.
     Within the last year I've gotten a job at Starbucks. Yes. I now work for the company that's almost always in the news for being eco friendly and treating it's coffee growers with great respect. And it's also the source of quite a few jokes about white girls and how obnoxious they can be.

Case in point

     But jokes about white girls are not why I'm writing this post today. Although they do form some of the problem. Being a barista at Starbucks, I've been subjected to quite a lot of frustrating situations that would make most people cringe. But for some reason these things have become a norm while in Starbucks. So here we have it, the top 8 things you shouldn't do at Starbucks, from the perspective of a barista:

8) Don't Be On Your Phone While Ordering - I cannot stress this one enough. Please get off your phone while ordering your food/coffee/double-mocha-frappacino-without-whip. It's obnoxious and it often creates difficulty for me when I don't know who you're talking to. If you want to order, tell the person on the other end that you'll call them back. Not "Hold on, I'm ordering at Starbucks." Especially if you plan on paying with your phone for your order. I know the other person on the other end of the phone can't see how rude you're being, but I can and it basically tells me that you obviously don't care enough to value me as an actual person if you can't put your phone down for 30 seconds while ordering your drink.

7) Don't Take Someone Else's Drink - We specifically call out the drinks as we finish them so customers can pick them up. If you just ordered your drink or have six or seven people ahead of you, your drink probably isn't the next one. So that drink you just grabbed is going to create problems both for the customer who ordered it and the barista who made it. And guess who's going to have to bear the brunt of the wrath of the customer who's drink you stole? Me. So the next time you order a drink and there's 10 people waiting ahead of you, please don't take the next drink that's called. I know you're in a hurry, but you chose to stop by Starbucks. Which brings me to my next point:

6) Don't Shove Your Credit Card In My Face - This is directed towards the customer who as soon as they get their order finished, the credit card is shoved in my face. Believe it or not, I actually have a few things that I have to do before I take your money. I have to make sure your cup is marked correctly, take care of any food items you have, and enter in your order to my computer. Not only is shoving your card in my face rude, but it often distracts me from finishing my job quicker which makes you get your order slower. I don't care if you're in a hurry. Again, YOU were the one who chose to come into a busy coffee shop when you had barely enough time to get to work. Your problem, not mine.

5) Don't Hover - This is more of a personal preference of mine, but it still is quite annoying. Waiting down at the receiving line and watching me make drinks does not make your drink come any quicker. If there are several people in front of you, guess what genius? You're in their way. Stand back and relax. Don't hover around the receiving point and make a gauntlet for other customers to push their way through. It's rude, frustrating, and I find it highly irritating.

4) Don't Ask Me For Water While I'm Making A Drink - You do realize that you cut in front of six or seven people in line don't you? When you ask me for a glass of water, I'll tell you what I'm going to do: I'm going to put it in the line of drinks according to when you asked for it. So if there's six drinks that I have to finish, your water is going to be the seventh one. I'm not going to take the time to satisfy your impatience when you can't be bothered to wait in line like everyone else.

3) Don't Change Your Order While I'm Making It - No, I will not change your triple-venti-peppermint-mocha into a quad-grande-pumpkin-spice-latte. You get what you ordered and paid for. Drinks cost different amounts and changing your drink not only wastes the materials we used to make your first drink but also the materials used to make your second drink show up as waste in our inventory management system. I know that doesn't me a lot to most people but as someone who has to deal with the ridiculous policies of Starbucks, it's a big deal.

2) Don't Order a Frappuccino After 9PM or During a Big Rush - I'm going to be completely honest. I think frappuccinos are the most obnoxious and stupid drink on our menu. Did you know that on average each have 300+ calories? That's about  They take way too long to make and have too many ingredients. When I'm making drinks I have a rhythm that I fall into. It allows me to get through drinks pretty quickly and be efficient. A frappuccino thrown in the mix throws the entire rhythm into disarray. It takes me on average about 30 seconds to make a hot drink; 15 to make a cold drink (depending on whether or not it needs espresso or not). A frappuccino takes me almost a minute to make. So when someone orders one while in the midst of a rush, it throws the entire process into dissaray. Also they're messy, so at night when we have almost everything put away, ordering a frappuccino means that I probably am going to have to clean that countertop that I have sparkly and spotless.

1) Don't Order From the "Secret Menu" - We DO NOT have a hidden menu full of goodies that we keep from customers. The "Secret Menu" that you keep trying to order drinks from is actually a website created by Starbucks CUSTOMERS who create their own drink concoctions. If you order a "Butterbeer Latte" I'm not going to be able to make it for you unless you tell me the exact ingredients that go into it. I have to remember how to make over 50 different types of drinks that are already on our menu. Asking me to learn how to make over 200 more and learn their different names is ridiculous. So the next time you order a "Cotton Candy Frappuccino" and the barista asks "How do you make it?" don't get angry with them. They probably have no idea what you're talking about.